Smashed
by MrsCuddles
Summary: Drunk talk is real talk. Post 3.05 featuring drunk!Paige.


**A/N: Thanks to somewhereinthedreams for indulging my craziness.**

* * *

Tonight was one of those rare times Quantico didn't train him for. One of those times that always left him speechless. It was safe to say that Mike never would have expected to see Paige so drunk and unrestrained.

Now Paige was asleep in the passenger seat. Strangely, there was an almost serene look on her face. She seemed relaxed, something she hadn't been for the longest time. Not since before Sylmar. Mike shook his head, not wanting to revisit the past. He wanted to leave all of their mistakes behind.

The thought of Paige waking up tomorrow morning with all the horrible aftermaths of a wild night out and a hangover made him smile. Paige was never wasted, but tonight was the exception. Saying she was wasted was an understatement. If there was one person in Graceland who could hold their liquor like a Russian soldier in the trenches, it was Paige.

Obviously Colby's death contributed to her current state of despair.

Paige would probably blame him for paying for the last five rounds of rum, but he was planning to pretend that nothing happened. On the off chance she actually remembered what happened, he knew she would pretend she didn't remember and he would play along.

It would be better this way. Besides, it could be their secret. Things were better when they were keeping secrets together instead of from each other.

Paige looked gorgeous tonight, so beautiful, and as usual she attracted one too many stares from men all too eager to get to know her better. Paige deliberately started a bar fight and got him and Johnny involved, arguing that they could easily beat up the three jerks she shamelessly rubbed herself on for hours, earning whistles of appreciations and lustful groping from the trio. Defending her honor when she was obviously incapable of thinking clearly came naturally to him and Johnny - Briggs and Jakes had been outside talking when she threw down the gauntlet.

 _'My boys will kick your ass.'_

If she had been sober, she could've easily taken one or two of them. But she hadn't been sober. She could barely stand, so he and Johnny found themselves fighting off three eager suitors because she got bored.

There was still a pesky pain in his hand from the punch he landed on one of her bold admirers so he would loosen his grip on her arm.

Perhaps he could reproach her to tend to the cracked and bloody skin of his sore knuckles. But as much as he wanted to, he wouldn't. The last thing he wanted to do was add anything to her heavy conscience, weighed down by what she did to him and Colby's death. Plus, he couldn't chance that it would spark her memory of the quick kiss they shared as he helped her into the car.

"I love you, Mike," she mumbled in her sleep, squirming as she sought out a more comfortable position.

Those words made him freeze and feel strangely calm at the same time. They left her lips in a murmur, so softly that he had trouble believing them.

He looked at her for a moment and couldn't help but think of how beautiful she looked, even with her tousled hair and her rum stained shirt, curled up in the seat of his car with nothing but that silky sheer shirt slipping off her shoulder.

Mike reached out to caress his fingers over the soft skin of her cheek. He trailed them down her throat, lingeringly stroking her shoulder before his eyes settled back on the road.

Masking his feelings was hard, but it was one of the first things he learned at Graceland. Yet he struggled hard whenever Paige was around. It took a while, but he finally became good at masking how he felt about her.

He made sure he didn't get caught staring at her all the time.

He never let her hear how she made his heart racing when she was near him.

He didn't leave any evidence that he was the one who stole one of Charlie's fluffy towels that she liked so much and hid it in her personal drawer each week, so it would be there when she needed it.

Those small hidden gestures came much easier to him instead of letting her know how he felt. Especially now that he no longer had the right to steal a kiss from her.

* * *

 _A few more steps and they would finally get to the car._

 _Mike wrapped his arm around Paige's waist, trying to hold her up and keep her from tripping over as he opened the door for her._

 _"Mmm, Mike, you smell so good." She hooked her arm back around his neck and turned her head to brush her nose along his jaw._

 _He could feel the warmth from her breath and her lips were dangerously close to his skin, making it difficult for him to breathe. "You too."_

 _It was still hard for him to believe that Paige was actually this drunk. She couldn't even walk on her own and they had to stop twice along the small stretch of road they walked from The Drop to his car, because she had almost gotten sick._

 _"Not true. Liar. But you're a cute liar."_

 _This wasn't her. He knew that what happened with Colby destroyed her. That was probably why she got so drunk tonight._

 _Maybe the others didn't see it but he did. He knew her. Just as she was starting to find her footing again, Briggs plan failed and Paige blamed herself for Colby's death. How was she supposed to know that Ari lit his matches with his left hand? Briggs should've known and told her._

 _"Come on, let's get you home." He carefully helped her settle in the passenger seat, but she pushed her legs out and leaned into him with a smile._

 _"You finally got what you wanted, huh? You're my hero tonight." She whispered with a chuckle, trying to hang onto him. "Isn't that what you always want to do? Save me even when I don't deserve it?"_

 _She looked pensive for a second as Mike reached past her to grab the seatbelt and muttered under his breath. "How much did you have to drink?"_

 _Laughing again, she reached up to touch his face and trace the outline of his lips. Her big green eyes scrutinized every inch of his face as she pulled him closer, letting her fingers leisurely travel over his skin. "My personal hero."_

 _They stayed like that for a few moments and when she didn't say anything else, Mike started to fasten her seatbelt._

 _Just as he was about to secure it around her waist and move her legs inside the car again, she took his face in her hands and squeezed lightly, trying to push his face close to hers to take a better look at him. "You're always so sweet to me."_

 _His fingers grasped hers, trying to escape from her hold and remove her hands from his face._

 _"Paige - " Mike was so enchanted by her proximity that he lowered his defenses and she was able to press her lips to his before he could even realize what was going on._

 _It was a soft kiss, slow and tender, but almost desperate at the same time. Mike ignored the sour taste of alcohol on her tongue, too shocked by the fact that she was actually kissing him. She kissed him until they were both out of breath and, with one more laugh and a satisfied smile, she finally flopped back on her seat._

* * *

He should have stepped back. But he didn't. He let her kiss him like that, out of nowhere, because it had been so long since he last felt those warm and sweet lips of hers and her words took him by surprise.

For a few seconds, reality slipped away and they were those two roommates sharing a stolen kiss in their secret world like they had done months earlier.

There were so many things left unresolved between them that he didn't even know where to start if they choose to have the talk.

But through it all, he knew that he would never truly deserve her. To be worthy of her.

His eyes were still glued on the road ahead of him when it dawned on him. He loved Paige too. He would dare to say that he always had. He loved Paige so much that it would feel wrong and abnormal not to love her.

Mike switched off the engine when they finally reached the front of the house. Circling the car, he carefully opened her door and leaned forward to catch her when she sleepily fell to the side.

"Where are we?" She muttered while he gently swooped her up in his arms and pushed the door closed with one knee.

"Home, Paige," Mike replied with a soft chuckle when she slung one arm around his shoulders and hid her face in his neck.

Her other hand was holding her sandals in her lap as she snuggled against his cheek to seek shelter in his warmth, the chilly night air causing goosebumps to cover her bare skin. Mike walked slowly and carefully, trying not to disturb the sleep she fell back into - legs dangling from his arms, bare feet tickling and poking his aching side. Nevertheless, the pills of oxy he stole from Charlie and still hidden in his back pocket and jacket were the last thing on his mind right now.

Paige was in his arms and it was just what he needed for his pain to be over. Burying his nose in her hair, he dropped a soft kiss to the crown of her head. "I love you," Mike whispered.

It pained him to know that this was the only way they could be together, that she would never know how he felt about her. But it was the right thing to do.

Once inside, everything would be over, so he hesitated a few more minutes outside the front door to enjoy that rare moment of serenity where the past didn't matter.


End file.
